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Epilogues II

by Driveways

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1.
Resurrect 03:32
I used to say all the time I’d look out for your blindside You’d drink and drive Despite the flashing lights that lurked behind I can’t decide If I’m haunted by hindsight or terrified That my own deception left you to die I can’t repent with time It kills me inside There’s only so much I can take I ran out of words to say Resignation is a different kind of pain You would disappear for days And I would be unafraid Cynicism is easier than dismay Sixty milligrams were like cyanide seeping into your spine Faded eyes were afraid to die but then brave inside of your mind's eye Ashamed that I’d hide behind the borrowed time that you’d find A brazen light and a blatant lie that your fine There’s only so much I could try When you were resolute inside And full of narcissistic pride you never heard back then It crept inside your mind And I neglected every sign And then you left before I tried to find the words I meant Die inside my head sometimes Burdens I can’t bear to shoulder Epilogues I’ve yet to write Never could compare to closure I can't shut my eyes Left you for dead in the dark You bled through the tourniquet you tied It kills me inside
2.
I dreamt that I’m bleeding out again I don’t care I’m dying You said I’ll leave you in the end I won’t dare and try I feel something creeping in again Skeletons are writhing Beneath the surface where you buried me I’ll never see your light But spare my eyes it’s a cursed sight I don’t want to look into it It's secrets took me to the grave But I can’t lie I’m the worst kind I’m blind to blatant deception And deceitful looks upon your face I wish I could tell you I left some flowers on your grave I was disgusted and devastated at the same time Felt compelled to relive encounters I disdain But I’ve been conflicted on how to justify the pain I’m still sleeping terrible I feel these skeletons pull me down I dreamt of a flight inside a storm I have fears of flying I’ve seen these lightning strikes before In the clearest sky I wish I could say I witnessed more than eerie disquiet The sound of turbulence reverberates a voice I know too well But clear your mind Of those forced ties There’s no deeper explanation No hidden connotations now But I can’t lie I’ve ignored signs Blissfully unaware in disbelief and doubt I let this get inside my head sometimes Burdens I can’t bear to shoulder Epilogues I’ve yet to write Never could compare to closure I'll never let it go I let these skeletons pull me down
3.
234 03:02
I check every night for the ghost in the backseat It whispers me the questions I’d hoped you would ask me Wishful thinking approaches a bad dream When hope is left to the opiates that regulate my sleep I saw two satellites in the sky go dark You had a vice grip inside my heart I couldn’t survive when you pried it apart Your eyes look so far away I knew when I lost my sense of gravity that I could never live We’re falling down to earth in tragedy like 1986 Feels like I’m dead on arrival Falling from heights I fear I’m part of a cycle I can’t explain at all My head starts to spiral Crawling from nightmare depths Your voice is denial And I can’t restrain myself at all I looked up in wonder when Saturn would pass by Saw the Phoenix lights disappear into black skies At 2:34 you appeared to me that night It was clear that I was delirious and weary of those eyes They reside Inside my head sometimes Burdens I can't bear to shoulder Epilogues I've yet to write Never could compare to closure
4.
I only ever tried to find my prison How am I supposed to spend the time I'm given now? I let the burden blind my vision How am I supposed to let my past self live it down? I can't try and shake my sorrows If every time I walk alone the Shape still follows close He’ll put me in a grave tomorrow I don’t know if you could ever save my hollowed soul Take that mask you hid inside And let them see your eyes I don’t care if fear can paralyze I’m dead on the inside Hold that knife you're sharpening And keep it by your side These October nights are darkening And he’ll be back in time But when the long night fades Will you still know who you are? When only shadows remain Will you crawl back towards the dark? I told myself I’d make things better I feel like I need something to take this pressure off Tradition made me hate this weather Haddonfield has never been a safe place to get lost I was in the worst condition Paranoid delusion is the world I live in now Denial couldn’t cure suspicion I thought he was back with every stir or distant sound It lives in inside me It still defines me It’s still inside my head I can’t escape Something I can’t explain I saw the look inside his eyes go dead But the fear remains I'll never feel the same I'll always feel the pain I let this get inside my head sometimes Burdens I can’t bear to shoulder Epilogues I’ve yet to write Never could compare to closure It lives in inside me It still defines me When November arrives Will you still know who you are?

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released October 13, 2023

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Driveways Boston, Massachusetts

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