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1. |
Hold it Together
02:31
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I don’t know if I can hold it together
My heart is turning cold with the weather
October Forever, I’m over the terror
I’m part of it now
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2. |
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I drove away so slowly
Somebody's chasing the car
I lay awake I'm only
Slightly afraid of the dark
I heard a noise I know I did
Someone's inside of the house
Did I lock the doors? I hope I did
When you find my body don't bury me under the ground
I want to burn
I don't deserve
Flowers and words
You'll never bury me under the ground
Grounded inside of reality, I used to count on myself for stability
Stubborn defiant mentality, I never had insecurities killing me
I wasn’t rid with anxiety buried beneath indecision and doubt
They weren’t living inside of me screaming as Karras is ripping them out
Nothing ever hits you like your first time
Xanax couldn’t make it stop before
Feels like I’ve yet to see my worst night
Panic finds you praying on the floor
Grounded inside of delirium, I couldn’t face my regret if I wanted to
Cover my ears when I’m hearing them, I live in fear of the voices that haunted you
I wasn’t taking the pills for the hell of it I was beginning to fall
I feel like Regan Macneil in the ending cause I don’t remember at all
I don't deserve
Your parting words
Remember the voices I heard
Just let me burn
The choices I made
My mistakes would come back from the grave
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3. |
Fifteen over Five
02:36
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I'd still take fifteen over five
I spent ten years in a haunted room
I won't call back but I wanted to
Cause I wanted you to know
That I could take this all in stride
I fell down when the cadence changed
I hear your voice when I lay awake
Like a train to take me home
I know I'm fucked up in your eyes
A trap door that you're caught inside
A deep cut you can't cauterize
And you're horrified to try
I hope there’s peace inside your mind
You find out what you’re hoping for
A burnt down house with an open door
And a broken source of light
Cause it's a long dark road back home
The light you gave me died out on my own
You know I can't help but see things in the dead of night
I'd still take fifteen over five
Cause the past ten I was terrified
I'm alright
I'm alright
I know we're born to crash and burn
Were destined for an early grave
Bloodshot eyes and a burdened face
Cause you were afraid to tell
Even if I knew the tide would turn
And we’d die out anyway
I’d take fifteen in a dreaded place
Just to see your face in hell
Hold it together
My heart turns cold with the weather
October Forever
You can dwell on it forevermore
Things will never change
I know where you're headed for
Glorifying better days
Habits are regrettable
Let the pressure fade
Terrified to let it go
Horrified to let it stay
Her ghost died
You broke ties
You can dwell on it forever if you want to
Her ghost died it’s your own head that haunts you
I know the worst that you’ve gone through
You can’t lose sleep on a curse that forgot you
Dwell on it forever if you want to
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4. |
Contours
03:40
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I've been losing it nothing short of the usual
Drug abuse is the fuse and then I’m delusional
I’d never do it cause you would cry at the funeral
You were tired and beautiful, you would try and dispute it though
I know you gave it your dedication and made an effort
Know you hated the hesitation to stay together
Should have taken the medication to make it better
I’ll hate this mistake forever
I thought I saw the devil in a streetlight shadow
Thought I saw the reaper in the sky
When every single night was like a constant battle
You would always try to make it right
I thought I saw the devil in my own reflection
Thought I saw the reaper from below
When I was reminiscing nights when there was no protection
You would always let me let it go
But you’re gone now
I've been dying to clarify an apology
You were trying to sterilize every thought of a doubt
Deep inside of a curse that we haven't buried
Like Vigirl and Alighieri
And I was trying to follow you down
Both afraid to abandon hope but we need to enter
Saw the circles and now we can never be together
Should have taken the medication to treat it better
I'll hate this mistake forever
I saw the devil in a streetlight
I would never want to be like everything I grew up to despise
In my head I want to rewrite
Every memory I keep tight hidden in the ruins I reside
Hold it together
Cold with the weather
October Forever
I'm part of it now
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5. |
Cemetery Gates
03:06
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I know that we're different but I can't relate
I don't think I would make it inside of the gates
With the best of intentions you thought you could help
I just can't stare at a headstone and talk to myself
As if it were somebody else
But hell I could gloss over memories
And get lost in a melody
I wrote to cope with a past that was dead to me
I'd deal with the devil if I could forget
And be ignorant rather than cynical
Innocent rather than miserable
Difficult tragic decisions were dissonant static and rhythms
Conditioned to quietly die
Feel like I’m fading I’m dying away
When I let go
Write something meaningful I wouldn’t say
On my headstone
Go through the rituals make them believe
That I’ll be remembered forever
And try to pretend I was better
In words that if I wasn’t dead, you would never recite
She heard the news and she fell to the floor
I still wonder why I was hesitant for
The end of a life that's a hell of a thought
There’s solace inside of a burial plot
I walked through the gates
Expressionless look on my face
Kept my composure in place
Faked an embrace
Tried to pretend in your faith
I’d deal with the devil to stay
Ignorant rather than cynical
Innocent rather than miserable
Difficult tragic decisions were dissonant static and rhythms
Conditioned to quietly die
Hold it together
My heart turns cold with the weather
Feels like October Forever
I think I’m part of it now
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6. |
F5
03:22
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Every night I’m seeing
Thunderstorms lay waste to the skyline
Funnel clouds take shape in an F5
See my reckoning coming for me it’s high time
I don't know if I can make it tonight
There’s something ominous in the air
I swore I saw an omen I thought it was really there
I hear the thunder it’s waging war in the clouds
I step outside the door and the rain is barreling down upon the ground
Something wicked this way comes
I stand beneath a pitch black sun
A portent that my time draws near
The horseman in the sky call fear in my heart
Cause I know it's the start of the end
I don’t know if I can hold it together
My heart’s turning cold with the weather
There's something sinister in the sky
A chill inside my bones and a shivering through my spine
It touches down and it’s ripping into the ground
I close my eyes and count as I’m listening to the sound of my downfall
Something wicked this way comes
I stand beneath a pitch black sun
A portent that my time draws near
The horseman in the sky call fear in my heart
Cause I know it's the start of the end
Feels like October Forever
I’m over the terror
I’m part of it now
I can see
Dark shapes on the skyline
My hands shake as the riders descend
They're impatient it's high time
Light fades into shades of the end
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7. |
Leaves on Parade
04:12
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She said come out and look at the leaves on parade
They flooded the sky
But you know I can't wait for the season to change
We're just watching them die
When I peeled back the layers and looked at the truth
I saw what I feared
Just a person that can't comprehend the abuse
That pretends not to hear you now
The colors look beautiful
Red and yellow rivers in the street
But to them it's a funeral
There's death in the deceit
I'm not worth it
You can't fall back now
I'm imperfect
My failures could bury me under the ground
A long ride home
An October view
And I know you miss the mountainside
The foliage is out tonight
And dying to look beautiful for you
I wish I wouldn't break
An evergreen that winter couldn't shake
I tend to dream and miss it when I wake
If ketamine could fix it I would take
A fistful every day
RIP to Smith inside his grave
Between the Bars I wish that I could stay
Imprisoned with the the blame
An unresolved condition I should face
The foliage is different in the rain
Hold it together
I'm fading away
I'm painted in shades of decay
I'm turning cold with the weather
There's a light at the end
I brace for my final descent
Feels October Forever
The colors expose
The end of a struggle that broke you down
I should have told you how
I'm over the terror
I'm part of it now
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8. |
Contradictions
02:51
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She wants to go outside
Tryna spark shit
She’s got something in the glove compartment
I don't know where your broke down car's been
I'm with whatever though
I never let it go
She wants to step outside
She's tryna talk more
And god knows I've seen you distraught before
But how could you tell me you're not sure?
You'd still be the first one I'd call
If I needed someone to talk to
But I barely see you at all
I don't see you at all
Feels like a contradiction
I need to step outside as soon as you walk in
People talk when they see that we're talking
I dip out in a rush I'm exhausted
I glance at my phone to make sure that you called it
I see your name on the dashboard
You say I should try and relax some more
Why am I stuck in the past for?
I'd still be the first one you'd call
If you needed someone to talk to
But you barely see me at all
You don't see me at all
Feels like a contradiction
Feels like I've had this thought before
Feels like a loss of vision
Whenever you talk I'll listen
Your eyes could end the pressure
Your smile clouds my thoughts some more
On time that we spent together
We could have been forever
I don't know if I can hold it together
My heart is turning cold with the weather
It’s feeling like October Forever
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9. |
Hallowed
03:39
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In your eyes
I woke up in a room that I don’t recognize
I see insidious symbols upon the floor
There’s a portrait in the corner with the devil’s eyes
I feel it watching me walking towards the door
So I step outside into a corridor
Two hundred seventeen on the doorway across the hall
From behind it plays a melody I’ve heard before
I try to follow the music until I fall through the floor
Into a room pitch black
I look above at the ceiling I fell through
A pair of sunken eyes look back
They're watching me now, they’ll see me in hell too
I tried to find my way out
You left me here to die
Trapped inside for days now
I saw my death inside your eyes
A shallow grave, a sign
A vindictive mind
Let hallowed places die
I look up and see a candlelight as bright as day
An illuminated glow in the all encompassing black
Over time I see a face appear behind the flame
As soon as I approach it my head is bringing me back to a
Distant dream I had from years ago
Crimson flooded halls and I'm buried beneath the tide
As I'm drowning I can swear I fucking hear it though
Eight notes like a vision in Danny Torrance's mind
I feel my blood run cold
My lungs fail I can't seem to yell
A pair of sunken eyes look back
They’re watching me now, they’ll see me in hell
I push back the hands from my throat
As I run through the dark I can make out a window it’s blistering cold
Moonlight is draped over two hooded silhouettes
They point to the ground
Four withered hands gesture towards an inscription
I can't make it out
But the voice in my head starts to read what was written down
Hold it together and brace for the end
Let go of the pressure and make your descent
October Forever in scarlet you drown
You're over the terror you're part of it now
I'm hoping I can make it out of here alive
I froze when I saw my demise inside your eyes
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10. |
Perennials
03:14
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Feels like every second I let you down
Twenty four seven I’m making you miserable
I’m conditioned to hear that sound
A slight hesitation that tells me you’re cynical
Black heart with your beautiful eyes
I buried your flowers and knew they would die
I was pitiful
I considered you mine
I’ve been running
I can't stomach
Thinking of that summer
A dead sentiment
My heads deafening
Thinking of that summer
I'm sentimental for promises that were unkept
So bury me in the past
You had perennials growing next to your front steps
But nothing can ever last
Cause I know
Idealistic versions of you die slow
And my eyes
Can never be trusted
Cause they find hope
In unrealistic places I design
I'm dying underneath of a bridge that we never built
I'm trying to not to speak with the demons left from your guilt
But they're calling me
I hid in the haven inside your mind
You apologized in vain but you didn't say it in time
They follow me now
Black heart
Beautiful eyes
Perennials left here to die
I was pitiful
I considered you mine
Hold it together
Cold with the weather
October Forever
Over the terror, I'm part of it now
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11. |
Sleep Paralysis
02:49
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I got demons in my head and they don't fight fair
Stuck inside the clutches of a nightmare
My head is crowded
But you know I'm dead without them
Cause I'm only feeling down with every light turned on
I hit the pen to clear my head up from before
I'm not dependent but I think I might getting there I'm
So defensive I don't let up anymore
Left over tension from the threats you made I used to fear them
December nights you whipped it faded with the snow out
I would to try and find excuses just to go outside
Yeah I had to get away from that
I know you tried to take it back
I hate the fact I'm living with these
I hit the road to clear my head up from your call
Not one for closure but I think I might be getting there I'm
Claustrophobic from the photos on the wall
I only see a silhouette but I can feel them glaring
December nights I used to wait for you to show up
You watch your idols make mistakes and then you grow up fast
Yeah I had to get away from that
I know you tried to take it back
I hate the fact I'm living with these
I don’t know if I can hold it together
I fell asleep on Elm Street
Nobody can help me
My heart is turning cold with the weather
I hear them singing one and two
Someone's gonna come for you
Feels like October Forever
I swear to god I'm not awake
I feel a claw upon my face
I think I'll be at home here forever
I'm over the terror, I'm part of it now
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12. |
Not for Nothing
04:01
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In late September my head fills with thoughts of a better time
Even quick discussions we had on the ride home from work
And I still remember I’d memorize stories to set aside
Just to tell you and not for nothing but every word meant the world
I wish I could turn back time
You don’t know what you have till it’s faded away
And I blurred that line with you
Cause you never faded you stayed in the back of my head
Like a distant green light on the waters where I’d reminisce every night
Take me down I can’t recover now
Bury every mistake deep down miles below
Cause the autumn’s coming there’s fading traces of summer now
And not for nothing there’s nowhere that I wouldn't go
Just to see you again
I know your story is different you found a light
Hold it together
I know priorities shifted I bet it wasn’t painless all the time
Cold with the weather
As I look from a distance I’m glad it worked out in another life
October Forever
And not for nothing but you’re still amazing in my eyes
I still remember summer nights, the fading sight of fireworks
Every time we talk it’s like I never really the find the words
I'll never say it but you'll always have a place inside my
I know you know
Forsaken by the timing and the circumstance I wish we weren't younger then
Late at night I question if you listen and you're wondering
Is this about you? Is it really still about you all the time?
I know you know
I know you know
I know you know it is
I see your green light shine every day
And it seems like it's miles away
Like a dream life I couldn't chase
Cause I was afraid
I was afraid
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13. |
October Forever
04:11
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I don't know if I can hold it together
My heart is turning cold with the weather, October Forever
I'm over the terror, I'm part of it now
I don't know if I can make an exception
Even Michael wore a vacant expression, a face of deception
The hatred that crept in, I’m part of it now
I’ve been in the dark so long that I can’t see light
I’ve committed sins so wrong that you can’t make right
You're treading down a dark path
In fall weather
Flashlights glow but you don’t feel better
Your blood flows but you still feel dead inside
Still feel dead inside
I don't know if I can make it to morning
I hear somebody break in the door in the basement I boarded
Their face is abhorrent, I'm frozen in place
But Laurie Strode would never lie down defenseless
I decide it's time to find my redemption but my eyes lamented
At my knife's reflection
There's a mask on my face
It feels like I'm still in the dark
I never escaped
They ripped me apart
I became what I hate
I swear that the fear left me blind
And ridden with doubt
These terrors are mine
They live in me now
I don't know if I can hold it together
My heart is turning cold with the weather
October Forever, I'm over the terror
I'm part of it now
I don't know if I can hold it together
My heart is turning cold with the weather
October Forever, I'm over the terror
I'm part of it now
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